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God, please not shitty gifts-- Christmas
Happy Birthday - Enjoy the company. -- Birthday
Happy Birthday! From me and my pussy. -- Birthday
Happy Birthday. Now Fuck off back to economy -- Birthday
Having more free time Jesus tried his hands at sales. -- Blank -multi purpose
Having more free time on his hand Jesus tried sales. -- Blank
He doesn’t look a thing like me — Christmas
Hey you... Big Homo -- Christmas
How do you keep a cunt in suspense?
How much to you spend on a bottle of wine? -- Birthday
I always worry that you won’t -- Christmas
I bought you that therapeutic -- Christmas
I can't believe I drank -- Christmas
I don't have torrette's, you're a ...-- Blank - multi purpose
I had a dream last night I slept with 20 year old twins.-- Birthday
I hate when I see an old person -- Birthday
I hope this is a better dinner than the last supper I had -- Christmas
I hope this is a better dinner than the last supper I had -- Blank - multi purpose
I licked it so it's mine. -- Valentines
I love how we don’t have to say out loud...
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