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Seriously bitch. You were that age last year -- Birthday
Shit. Only 998 likes. I'm going to have to kill -- Blank - multi purpose
So this one time I got so drunk -- Blank - multi purpose
Sorry I have ruined your vagina -- Mother's Day
Thank you for giving me enough emotional baggage to in a creative field -- Mother's Day
Thanks for putting up with bad moods, temper tantrums...-- Mother's Day
The older you get -- Birthday
We saw this women talking to her cat like she was- Blank -multi purpose
We will be friends until we are old and forgetful-- Birthday
What's for dinner daddy?-- Birthday
What’s it like to have the best child in the world? - Mother’s Day
When you're over 50 it is no longer -- Birthday
You did not wake up today to be mediocre. -- Blank
You know what is cheaper than therapy?- Blank -multi purpose
You must love your children very much? Thank you, Paul and Sally-- Blank - multi purpose
You must love your children very much? Thank you, Paul and Sally-- Blank - multi purpose
You think I'm sarcastic? -- Birthday
You're at that delustional age where you-- Birthday
You're very generous with your penis.-- Birthday
You're very generous with your penis.-- Blank -multi purpose
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